emotions aren’t the enemy: how to honour what you feel
Why acknowledging and processing our feelings is essential for emotional health
Emotions are part of being human. We all experience them — from the highs of joy and excitement to the lows of sadness, frustration, or grief. But for many of us, especially when it comes to the more painful or uncomfortable emotions, the instinct is to push them away. We might minimise them, ignore them, laugh them off, or believe we “shouldn’t” feel a certain way.
Yet avoiding emotions doesn’t make them disappear — it often causes them to linger beneath the surface, sometimes showing up in ways we don’t expect. As author Peter Scazzero writes in Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, true wellbeing comes from honouring every part of ourselves: physical, intellectual, social, spiritual, and emotional. Ignoring our emotional world can be harmful. Tending to it is essential.
A healthy emotional life involves recognising what we’re feeling, allowing ourselves to feel it, reflecting on it, and responding in ways that support our growth and wellbeing. Sometimes, the first step is simply giving ourselves permission to feel.
Even when we look at the life of Jesus, we see someone who experienced a full range of emotions — joy, compassion, anguish, anger, love, sorrow. He wept, he felt tired, he needed space. If Jesus embraced his emotions, why would we think we’re meant to deny ours?
The Psalms offer another powerful example — a window into the emotional life of a human being navigating joy, pain, fear, gratitude, and everything in between. Emotions are not the enemy. They’re part of our design.
Learning to Sit With Discomfort
Lately, I’ve been learning how to sit more fully with my emotions. Not in a way that keeps me stuck in pain or spirals me into self-pity, but in a way that allows space for what I’m feeling — especially when it's hard.
Our emotions are messengers. Sadness may signal compassion or love. Anger might highlight a boundary being crossed or something that needs to change. Frustration can reflect a deeper value or need. But we won’t hear what they’re saying unless we pause and pay attention.
This process isn’t always easy, but it’s how we grow in emotional awareness and resilience. We experience our emotions, reflect on them, and then choose how to respond — rather than react impulsively or suppress what’s there.
What Helps Me Navigate My Emotions
While each person’s journey will look different, here are a few strategies that are helping me attend to my emotions in healthier ways:
Making space to feel. Sometimes this means withdrawing, letting the tears come, and giving myself permission to simply be. Emotions often come in waves — we don’t need to avoid them; we need to ride them.
Journalling. Writing helps me get thoughts and feelings out of my head and heart. When I don’t have my journal nearby, I’ll type notes into my phone — anything to process and begin noticing thought patterns that might need challenging.
Counselling. Speaking with a qualified counsellor is invaluable. Being heard, supported, and guided helps me process what I’m experiencing, gain insight, and access tools that support both healing and personal growth.
Spiritual practices. For me, faith is central. Prayer, reading Scripture, and worship remind me of who I am and help ground me when emotions or thoughts feel overwhelming. They offer peace that goes beyond understanding.
Movement and time outdoors. A morning walk on the beach can shift my entire mood. Movement and nature have proven benefits for mental health, and for me, they provide space to think and breathe.
Joyful activities. Doing things I enjoy helps bring balance. It’s not about ignoring pain, but rather caring for myself holistically. Whether it’s catching up with friends, visiting a favourite café, or listening to music, small joys matter.
Final Thoughts
It’s okay to feel. Our emotions are not weaknesses — they are part of being human. While we don’t want emotions to control us, we do need to attend to them with curiosity and compassion.
When we learn to sit with our emotions rather than fear or avoid them, we lay the foundation for emotional maturity, healthier relationships, and a more grounded sense of self.
If you're finding it difficult to navigate your emotions or would like support in learning how to process them in healthy ways, counselling or coaching can be a helpful next step. You're not alone — and support is available.
👉 Ready to explore your emotional wellbeing?
Book a counselling or coaching session today and take a step toward healing, clarity, and growth.